I almost forgot I had this blog until I brought it up to someone this evening. It's crazy isn't it, how life can happen and we can lose focus on ourselves or our passions? I can't even remember the last time I thought about singing, or writing.
Life can be going so great, then here comes all the hard stuff, one thing after another, and then some more battles on top of what you're already going through. I can almost see it, in my personal life, being so close to God, then little by little, each battle, pulled me away more and more. I found myself overwhelmed, defeated, tired, feeling like I had lost the fire that burned within. And with each passing day, silence. I'd ask God why I'm not hearing Him or feeling Him. What was I doing that's so wrong? And at the same time, I felt a tugging, I can't explain, I'd feel something drawing me closer and then bam, here come more attacks. I am that person a long time ago that would encourage people to run to God at their lowest and here I was, slowly distancing from Him and not even realizing it at the time. Then last year, my mom almost died, and I felt that tugging again. That feeling of being pulled closer to something, and I prayed like I never have before. I let go of what I had no control over. And one night, in the silence, I felt God again. I felt His presence and I knew then, that the tugging I felt was Him drawing me closer.
Our lives can be so chaotic and noisy. The attacks still come, now more than ever, but guess what? God is bigger.
I just want to encourage whoever may come across this blog. It's not over. Let Him fight your battles. We live in crazy times right now and now is the time to let Him in. There's still purpose for you, there's still a fire that burns within, and there's hope and love and grace. You're never too far gone.
The smallest prayer can make way for our God to do big things.
He loves you, the confused you, the lost you, the feeling hopeless you, the you that wants to give up. I've been there. Don't give up, and please know He never left, He is always with you.
Jeremiah 29:11
